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Prominent Bar in Secaucus In a prominent bar in Secaucus one day Rose a lady in skunk with a top-heavy sway Raised a knobby red finger - all turned from their beer - While with eyes bright as snowcrust she sang high and clear Now who of you'd think from an eyeload of me That I once was a lady as proud as can be? Oh I'd never sit down by a tumble-down drunk If it wasn't, my dears, for the high cost of junk. All the gents used to swear that the white of my calf Beat the down of a swan by a length and a half In the kerchief of linen I caught to my nose Ah, there never fell snot, but a little gold rose. I had seven gold teeth and a toothpick of gold My Virginia cheroot with a leaf it was rolled And I'd light it each time with a thousand in cash Why the bums used to fight if I flicked them an ash Once the toast of the Biltmore, the belle of the Taft I would drink bottle beer at the Drake, never draft And dine at the Astor on Salisbury Steak With a clean table cloth for each bite I would take In a car like the roxy, I'd roll to the track A steel-guitar trio, a bar in the back And the wheels made no noise, they turned ever so fast Still it took you ten minutes to see me go past When the horses bowed down to me that I might choose I bet on them all for I hated to lose Now I'm saddle each night for my butter and eggs And the broken threads race down the backs of my legs Let you hold in mind girls that your beauty must pass Like a lovely white clover that rusts with its grass Keep your bottoms off bar stools and marry your young Or be left - an old barrel with many a bung For when time takes you out for a spin in his car You'll be hard-pressed to stop him from going too far And be left by the roadside, for all your good deeds Two toadstools for tits and a face full of weeds All the house raised a cheer, but the man at the bar Made a phone call and up pulled a red patrol car And she blew us a kiss as the copped her away From that prominent bar in Secaucus NJ SOF
Thanks to Mudcat for the Digital Tradition!