Digital Tradition Mirror

Cats on the Rooftops (2)

(This score available as ABC, SongWright, PostScript, PNG, or PMW, or a MIDI file)
Pennywhistle notation and Dulcimer tab for this song is also available

Cats on the Rooftops (2)

When you wake up in the morning with the devil of a stand,
From the pressure of the liquid on the seminary gland,
If you haven't got a woman you must take it in your hand,
As you revel in the joys of  masturbation.

cho: Cats on the rooftop, cats on the tiles,
     Cats with [the clap] (or syphilis) and cats with piles,
     Cats with their arseholes wreathed in smiles,
     As they revel in the joys of fornication.

When you wake up in the morning with a bellyful of joy,
And your wife has got the rag on and your daughter's rather coy,
Then jam it up the backside of your youngest, plumpest boy,
As you revel in a smooth ejaculation.

The Regimental Sergeant Major leads a miserable life,
He can't afford a mistress and he doesn't have a wife,
So he puts it up the bottom of the Regimental Fife,
As he revels in the joys of fornication.

The labors of the poofter find but little favor here,
But the morally leprous bastard has a peaceful sleep, I fear,
As he dreams he rips a red-un up some dirty urchin's rear,
As he revels in the joys of  fornication.

Little Mary Johnson will be seven next July,
She's never had a naughty, but she thought she'd like to try,
So she took her daddy's walking stick and did it on the sly,
As she reveled in the joys of fornication.

Poor old Mr. Bengelstein, whose morals we doubt,
He wanders round with his noodle hanging out,
And when he sees a wench it up and hits him in the snout,
As he revels in the joys of fornication.

Long-legged curates grind like goats,
Pale-faced spinsters shag like shoats,
And the whole damn world stands about and gloats,
As they revel in the joys of fornication.

Now I met a girl who had a great rear,
And she gave me a dose of gonorrhea,
Fools rush in where angels fear,
As I reveled in the joys of fornication.

The lady by the seaside was feeling very blue,
She saw the children at it, and she thought she'd like it too,
So she bought three bananas -- and she ate the other two,
As she reveled in the joys of fornication.

A thousand verses all in rhyme,
To sit and sing them seems a crime,
When we could better spend our time,
Reveling in the joys of fornication.

RG,CZB,PFBW

Thanks to Mudcat for the Digital Tradition!