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The Charming Young Widow (W.H. Cove and John Parry ca 1840) I live in Vermont, and one morning last summer A letter inform'd me my Uncle was dead. And also requested I'd come down to Boston As he'd left me a large sum of money it said. Of course I determined on making the journey And to book myself by the "first class" I was fain. Tho' I had gone "second" I had never encounter'd The Charming Young Widow I met on the train. Yet scarce was I seated within the compartment, Before a fresh passenger enter'd the door, 'Twas a female--a young one--and dress'd in deep mourning An infant in long clothes she gracefully bore, A white cap surrounded a face oh so lovely! I never shall look on one like it again I fell deep in love over head in a moment, With the Charming Young Widow I met in the Train. The Widow and I side by side sat together The carriage containing ourselves and no more, When silence was broken by my fair companion Who enquired the time by the watch that I wore. I of course satisfied her, and then conversation Was freely indulged in by both, 'till my brain Fairly reeled with excitement, I grew so enchanted With the Charming Young Widow I met in the Train. We became so familiar I ventured to ask her How old was the child that she held at her breast. "Ah Sir!" she responded, and into tears bursting Her infant still closer convulsively pressed. "When I think of my child I am well nigh distracted Its Father--my Husband--oh my heart breaks with pain." She choking with sobs leaned her head on my waistcoat Did the Charming Young Widow I met in the Train. By this time the Train had arrived at a Station Within a few miles of the great one in town When my charmer exclaimed, as she looked through the window "Good gracious alive! why there goes Mr. Brown. He's my late Husband's Brother; dear Sir would you kindly My best beloved child for a moment sustain? " Of course I complied--then off on the platform Tripped the Charming Young Widow I met in the Train.; Three minutes elapsed when the whistle it sounded The Train began moving-no Widow appeared. I bawled out "stop ! stop!" but they paid no attention With a snort, and a jerk, starting off as I feared. In this horrid dilemma I sought for the hour- But my watch! ha! Where was it ? Where, where was my chain! My purse too, my ticket, gold pencil-case! all gone! Oh that Artful Young Widow I met in the Train. While I was my loss thus so deeply bewailing The Train again stopped and I "tickets please" heard. So I told the Conductor while dandling the infant The loss I'd sustained--but he doubted my word. He called more officials; a lot gathered round me, Uncovered the child--oh how shall I explain! For behold 'twas no baby! 'Twas only a dummy! Oh that Crafty Young Widow I met in the Train. Satisfied I'd been robbed they allowed my departure Though, of course I'd to settle my fare the next day. And I now wish to counsel young men from the country Lest they should get served in a similar way. Beware of Young Widows you meet on the Railway Who lean on your shoulder; whose tears fall like rain. Look out for your pockets in case they resemble The Charming Young Widow I met on the Train. From Flashes of Merriment, Levy RG
Thanks to Mudcat for the Digital Tradition!