Delaney's Donkey (William Hargreaves) Now Delaney had a donkey that everyone admired, tempo'rily lazy and permanently tired A leg at ev'ry corner balancing his head, and a tail to let you know which end h e wanted to be fed Riley slyly said "We've underrated it, why not train it?" then he took a rag They rubbed it, scrubbed it, they oiled and embrocated it, got it to the post an d when the starter dropped his flag There was Riley pushing it, shoving it, shushing it Hogan, Logan and ev'ryone in town lined up attacking it and shoving it and smack ing it They might as well have tried to push the Town Hall down The donkey was eyeing them, openly defying them Winking, blinking and twisting out of place Riley reversing it, ev'rybody cursing it The day Delaney's donkey ran the halfmile race The muscles of the mighty never known to flinch, they couldn't budge the donkey a quarter of an inch Delaney lay exhausted, hanging round its throat with a grip just like a Scotchma n on a five pound note Starter, Carter, he lined up with the rest of 'em. When it saw them, it was will ing then It raced up, braced up, ready for the best of 'em. They started off to cheer it but it changed its mind again There was Riley pushing it, shoving it and shushing it Hogan, Logan and Mary Ann Macgraw, she started poking it, grabbing it and chokin g it It kicked her in the bustle and it laughed "Hee - Haw!" The whigs, the conservatives, radical superlatives Libr'rals and tories, they hurried to the place Stood there in unity, helping the community The day Delaney's donkey ran the halfmile race The crowd began to cheer it. Then Rafferty, the judge he came to assist them, bu t still it wouldn't budge The jockey who was riding, little John MacGee, was so thoroughly disgusted that he went to have his tea Hagan, Fagan was students of psychology, swore they'd shift it with some dynamit e They bought it, brought it, then without apology the donkey gave a sneeze and bl ew the darn stuff out of sight There was Riley pushing it, shoving it and shushing it Hogan, Logan and all the bally crew, P'lice, and auxil'ary, the Garrison Artille ry The Second Enniskillen's and the Life Guards too They seized it and harried it, they picked it up and carried it Cheered it, steered it to the winning place Then the Bookies drew aside, they all commited suicide Well, the day Delaney's donkey won the halfmile race Oct01
Thanks to Mudcat for the Digital Tradition!