Digital Tradition Mirror

Devil Versus the Widow

Devil Versus the Widow
(Mick Ryan)

 Up high upon a lonely moor
 A widow lived alone
 In an inn she kept and while she slept
 the pillows heard her moan
 For many's the time a traveler
 Has spent the night with me
 But there's not a man in all creation
 Gives content to me

 For some can manage once or twice
 Some make three or four
 What seems to be a rarity
 Is the man who can do more
 I'd give anything to find him
 In heaven or in hell
 And while the words were spoken then
 She heard the front door bell

 Cho: And the wind blew cold and lonely
     All across that widow's moor
And she never ever turned away
     A traveler from her door

 Then boldly the widow she went downstairs
 And the door she opened wide
 And as she did a tall and handsome
 Stranger stepped inside
 She gave him bread and brandy
 And after he was fed
 He said My dear, well have no fear
 It's time to go to bed

 For I heard you call way down below
 And I've come to see you right
 But you must come to hell with me
 If I can last the night
 She said You randy devil!
 To this bargain I'm agreed
 For hell on earth or hell in hell
 It's all the same to me

Then the devil and the widow they jumped in bed
 And the devil was working well
 And he thought before this night was through
 She'd be his in hell
 But when they got to number nine
 The widow cried Encore!
 And when the twelfth time came around
 She still called out for more

 At twenty-five the devil thought
 He had to take a rest
 But the widow still said Come raise yer head
 And put me to the test
 At sixty-nine the widow laughed
 Again, again she cried
 And the devil declared Well I can see
 Just how your husband died

At niney-nine the devil he
Began to cry and weep
Oh I will give you anything
Just let me go to sleep
Before the morning light was on
The devil hobbled home
And the widow still unsatisfied
Once more was left alone

 She lay there and she grumbled
 And she thought of niney-nine
 If only that old devil could
 Have made it one more time
 I'll call him up again tonight
 And see what can be done
 With a bit of application we
 Could make it to the ton

But when she called him up that night
No devil he did appear
For the first time in eternity
The old devil he shook with fear
Of all the pain and torment
I've witnessed here in hell
I never knew what pain was
 'till I rang your front doorbell

copyright Mick Ryan

Thanks to Mudcat for the Digital Tradition!

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