Diet Song (Shel Silverstein) Breakfast: black coffee, one slice of dry toast, no butter, no jelly, no jam. Lunch: just some lettuce, two celery stalks, no booze, no potatoes, no ham. Dinner: one chicken wing, broiled, not fried; no biscuits, no gravy, no pie, And this diet'n', diet'n', diet,'n', diet'n', sure is a rough way to die. So pass me a carrot stick, peel me a prune, one glass of skim milk and that's al l. Turn off the TV for the Big Mac commercial, it's drivin' me straight up the wall . I'm thinkin' of french fries, sausage and waffles, spaghetti, and cookies and ca ke, And each night I'm dreamin' of chocolate ice cream, an' I'm starvin' to death wh en I wake, All for your sake. Well you're fixin' the kids all those creamed mashed potatoes but it's bullion a nd water for me, And you've got a lock on the refrigerator. God knows where you're hidin' the key , And while I am starvin' for food late at night, I'm starvin' for lovin' from you , But you say that when I can see my own dick you'll be happy to look at it too. So, suffer two pieces of cauliflower raw, some beefsteak the size of a nail, One slice of tomato, a small dab of slaw, Lord, I swear I ate better in jail. Stop eatin' that pizza right under my nose. Girl, that's the least you can do, And put down that candy bar while I am singin'. I'm starvin' my ass off for you. And when I am dead, with the insurance paid, you'll look down at me and you'll g rin, And say, "Well, the boy tried and he starved and he died, but don't he look good when he's thin." copyright Shel Silverstein XX
Thanks to Mudcat for the Digital Tradition!