Digital Tradition Mirror

Johnnie Verbeck

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Johnnie Verbeck

There was a Dutchman.
His name was Johnnie Verbeck.
He was a dealer in sausages and sauerkraut and spec.
He makes the finest sausages that ever you did see.
But one day he invented a wonderful sausage machine.

CHO: Oh, Mister Johnnie Verbeck,
     How could you be so mean?
     I told you you'd be sorry for inventing that machine.
     All the neighbors' cats and dogs
     Will never more be seen,
     For they'll be ground to sausage meat
     In Johnnie Verbeck's machine.

One day a little Dutch boy came a-walking in the store.
He bought a pound of sausages and piled them on the floor.
The boy began to whistle and he whistled up a tune.
And all the sausages went a-dancing 'round the room.

One day the meat inspector came a-knocking at the door,
He said, "I've come to check your shop, so give me money more!"
Johnnie got real angry, and pushed him in the meat.
He fired up the old machine and now there's more to eat.

One day there was a shortage, there was no meat to grind.
So Johnnie called the city pound to see what he could find.
They said, "We're out of business, we keep the strays no more."
"But we'll refer all future finds directly to your store."

One day a scouter leader, he had a brilliant thought.
He'd spend the cash in Johnnie's store for meat that he had sought.
"Mexican Lasagna," the recipe did read.
The irony was that the taste was fabulous, indeed!

Have you ever wondered, when you go camp.
The food is good and plentiful and never gives a cramp.
But early in the morning you'll see the trucker go,
And lettered on the driver's door is "JOHNNIE VERBECK & CO."

Now Donna Rebeck was Johnny's wife, the fairest ever seen,
But he left her alone to weep at home while he puttered with his machine.
She grew morose and leaned too close, and it ripped her shirt off at the seam
But Johnny Rebeck never noticed a speck as he ran his sausage machine.

One day the machine got busted. The blamed thing wouldn't go.
So Johnnie Verbeck, he climbed inside to see what made it so.
His wife, she had a nightmare, and walking in her sleep,
She gave the crank a heck of a yank and Johnnie Verbeck was meat.

Donna woke with a start to see Johnny depart through the jaws of the machine.
But being a practical woman, she threw in spices and fennel greens.
And she had a great sale and many's the tale of the tastiest sausage seen.
She said with a quirk, "He put himself in his work."
That's Johnny Rebeck's machine!

A camp song. Variants: Johnny Vorbeck, Rebec, Quebec, Dunderbeck

Thanks to Mudcat for the Digital Tradition!

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