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Funeral Party Oh, the other night I got an invitation to a funeral But to me disappointment the fucker didn't die So to ease our disappointment he took us out and treated us And seein' as he apologized, we let the thing go by. To ease our disappointment he took us out and treated us He bought a quart of ale for a company of ten When some one of us asked him whose money he was squanderin' The fellow took his wallet out, we never asked again Now, we got a concertina for to aid in the rascality But none of us could play it though we tried our best and worse We made an awful noise, and if it's any benefit We played the thing so carefully that all the bellows burst We got a boiled potato for to mend the concertina with When someone hit Maloney with the carcass of a cat He bottled up his whiskers, and he read out the riot act He swore he'd put two hits upon the bastard who did that When the owner of the beershop, he saw us all a'riotin' He gave orders to get out but, at that we all refused So he whistled in some loafers that were standin' round the corner and For ten or fifteen minutes we was bodily abused When we left the beershop, on down the road we started When a bunch of hungry urchins, they pelted us with mud We told them to chuck it -- they said that they were doin' that And then they all ran off and they left us where we stood Well, the next thing we got was a bunch of salvationers They rifled all our pockets and they asked us, were we saved? Poor little John McGintey got escorted to the station-house For askin' a great policeman if his appetite was shaved Oh, for to free McGintey we then took off our undershirts And down to the pawnshop we took the bloomin' lot We told him that we only wanted ten and six on them There's enough on them already was the answer that we got We got our ten and six all for to free McGintey with Bad luck to that beershop that we passed along the way For of course we couldn't pass it without having some refesherment And we squandered all the money of the fine we had to pay Now the drink bein' in us, the sense, it was all out of us And for a bit of riotin' we quickly did repair We battered one another till we all weren't worth three ha'pennies You could have carpeted the floor with all the skin and hair For McCarty hit McGintey and McGintey hit some other man And every man hit any man against he had a spite. Poor old Macnamara who was sittin' sayin' nothin' got A kick that broke his jaw for not indulgin' in the fight. We fought away like Turks until the police separated us They took us to the jail with broken noses and black eyes I got sixty days in prison and it was a lesson, sure: I'll go no more to funerals until the bastard dies. BR
Thanks to Mudcat for the Digital Tradition!