(This score available as
a MIDI file)
Pennywhistle notation and Dulcimer tab for this song is also available
Oor Hamlet (Adam McNaughtan) There was this king nodding In his garden all alane When his brither in his ear dropped A wee tait of henbane Then he stole his brother's crown And his money and his widow But the dead king walked and got his son And said,"Now listen, kiddo I've been killed and it's your duty To take revenge on Claudius Kill him quick and clean and show The nation what a fraud he is The boy says, "Right, I'll do it But I'll have to play it crafty So that nobody will suspect me I'll kid on that I'm a dafty So wi all except Horatio (and he trusts him as a friend) Hamlet - that's the kid He kids on he's round the bend And because he's not yet willing For obligatory killing He tried to make his uncle think He's tuppence off the shilling Took the mickey oot Polonius Treated poor Ophelia vile And told Rosencrantz and Gildenstern that Denmark's blooded bile Then a troup of traveling actors Like the 784 Arrived to do a special one night Gig in Elsinore Hamlet, Hamlet, acting balmy Hamlet, Hamlet, loves his mommy Hamlet, Hamlet, hesitating Wonders if the ghost's a fake And that is why he's waiting Then Hamlet wrote a scene for The players to enact While Horatio and him would watch To see if Claudius cracked The play was called "the Mousetrap" (not the one that's running noo) And sure enough, the King walked out Before the scene was through. So Hamlet's got the proof that Claudius Gived his dad the dose The only problem being now that Claudius knows he knows So while Hamlet tells his ma that her New husband's not a fit man Uncle Claud puts out a contract with The English king as hit man Then when Hamlet killed Polonius The concealed corpus delecti Was the King's excuse to send for An English hempen necktie With Rosencrantz and Gildenstern To make sure he got there But Hamlet jumped the boat and put The finger straight on that pair Meanwhile Laertes heard his dad had been Stabbed thru the arras He came racing back to Elsinore Toute-suite, Hot foot from Paris And Ophelia with her dad killed by The man she wished to marry After saying it with flowers She commited hari-kari Hamlet, Hamlet, there's no messin' Hamlet, Hamlet, Learned his lesson Hamlet, Hamlet, Yorick's crust Convinced him that men, good or bad, At last must come to dust Then Laertes lost the place and was Demanding retribution But the king said, keep the head and I'll provide you a solution And he arranged a sword-fight with The interested parties With a blunted sword for Hamlet and A sharp sword for Laertes And to make things double sure The old belt and braces line He fixed up a poison sword tip and A poisoned cup of wine And the poisoned sword got Hamlet But Laertes went and muffed it Cause he got stabbed himself and he Confessed before he snuffed it Then Hamlet's mummy drank the wine and As her face turned blue Hamlet says, "I quite believe The King's a baddy through and through Incestuous, treacherous, damned Dane He said, to be precise, And made up for hesitating by Killing Claudius twice He stabbed him with the sword and forced The wine between his lips Then he said, the rest is silence And he cashed in all his chips They fired a volley over him that Shook the topmost rafter And then Fortinbras, knee-deep in Danes Lived happily ever after Hamlet, Hamlet, end of story Hamlet, Hamlet, very gory Hamlet, Hamlet, I'm away If you think this is boring You should read the bloody play Copyright Adam McNaughtan DC
Thanks to Mudcat for the Digital Tradition!