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Hell in Arizona The Devil was given permission one day To select him a land for his own special sway So he hunted around for a month or more And fussed and fumed and terribly swore. He at last was delighted a country to view Where the prickly pear and the mesquite grew With a survey brief, without further excuse He stood on the bank o the Santa Cruz. He saw that there were some improvements to make For he felt his own reputation at stake, An idea struck him, and he swore by his horns, To make a complete vegetation of thorns. He studded the land with the prickly pear And scattered the cactus everywhere The Spanish Dagger, sharp-pointed and tall, And at last the chollas to outstick them all. Filled the river with sand 'til 'twas almost dry And poisoned the land with alkali And promised himself on its slimy brink To control all who from it should drink. He saw there was one improvement to make So he imported the scprpion, tatantula and snake That all that might come to this country to dwell Would be sure to think it was almost hell. He fixed the heat at a hundred an 'leven And banished forever the moisture from heaven; And remarked as he heard his furnaces roar, That the heat might reach five hundred more. And after he fixed things so thorny and well He said," I'll be damned if this don't beat hell!" Then he flapped his wings and away he flew And vanished from earth in a haze of blue. note: It's been said that when the devil was gioven a choice of homes-Arizona or hell-he decided to rent out Arizona, RG RG Oct00
Thanks to Mudcat for the Digital Tradition!