Jonah and the Grampus I'll tell you the story of Jonah A really remarkable tale A peaceful and humdrum existence he had Till one day he went for a sail The weather were fine when he started But later at turn of the tide The wind started blowing, the water got rough And Jonah felt funny inside When ship started pitching and tossing Joe tried hard his feelings to smother At last he just hung his head over the side And one thing seemed to bring up another When sailors saw what he were doing It gave them a bit of a jar They liked the sea trippers enjoying their selves But thought this here were going too far Said one "Is there nowt we can think on To stop you from feeling so bad?" And Jonah said "Aye, lift me over the side And chuck me in - there's a good lad" The sailor he weren't one to argue He said "Happen you know what's best" So he picked Joe up by the seat of his pants And chucked him in as per request A grampus came up at that moment And seeing as Joe were hard set It swam along side him and opened its mouth And said "Come in lad, out of the wet" Its manner were kindly and pleading As if to say RSVP Said Jonah "I've eaten a kipper or two But I never thought one would eat me" The inside of grampus surprised him T'were first time he'd been behind scenes He found accommodation were ample for one Though it smelt like a tin of sardines They went cruising over the water And Jonah were filled with delight With his eye to the bluely in grampus's head He watched ships that pass in the night "I'm weary of watching" said Jonah "I'll rest for a minute or so" "I'm afraid as you won't find your bed very soft" Said the grampus "I've got hard roe" A whale boat came up at that moment Said Jonah "What's this 'ere we've struck?" "They're after my blubber" the grampus replied "You best hold on tight whilst I duck" The water came in through the bluely And caught Jonah's face with a slosher He said "Shut your bluely" And grampus replied "I can't lad it wants a new washer" Joe tried hard to bale out the water But found that his task was in vain But as fast as he emptied slops out through he gills They came in through the bluely again When at last they came to the surface Joe were reading his accident policy He put down his reading and took a look out And found they were grounded off Wallesley Said grampus "We're in shallow water I've brought you as far as I may If you'll sit on the bluely on top of my head I'll spout you the rest of the way" As Jonah obeyed these instructions The grampus's lungs did expand Then blew out a fountain which lifted Joe up And carried him safely to land There were tears in their eyes when they parted And each blew a kiss a real big 'un Then grampus went off with a swish of his tail And Jonah walked back home to Wigan XX APR99
Thanks to Mudcat for the Digital Tradition!