Just the Facts, Ma'am note: two songs sung alternately I was born about ten thousand years ago There ain't nothing in this world that I don't know I saw Peter, Paul and Moses playing Ring Around the Roses And I'll whup the guy who says it isn't so I'm just a lonesome traveler, the great historical bum Highly educated, from history I come I built the Rock of Ages, twas in the year of one And that was the biggest thing that man has ever done I saw Satan when he looked the Garden o'er I saw Eve and Adam driven from the door From behind the bushes peeping, saw the apple they was eating I swear that I'm the guy what ate the core Garden of Eden? Well, I built the Garden of Eden, it was in the year of two Joined the Apple Pickers Union and I always paid my dues I'm the man who signed the contract to raise the rising sun And that's about the biggest thing that man has ever done I taught Samson how to use his mighty hands Showed Columbus to this mighty land And for Phaoroh's little kiddies built all the pyramiddies And to the Sahara carried all the sand Pyramids? why... I was straw boss on the pyramids, the Tower of Babel too I opened up the ocean, let the migrant children through Well, I fought a million battles and I never lost a one And that's about the biggest thing that man has ever done I taught Solomon his little A B Cs I was the first one ate Limburger cheese And while sailing down the bay with Methuselah one day I saved his flowing whiskers from the breeze Well I was in the Revolution when we set this country free It was me and a couple of Indians who dumped the Boston tea Well I won the battle of Valley Forge and the Battle of Bully Run And that's about the biggest thing that man has ever done Queen Elizabeth fell dead in love with me We were married in Milwaukee secretly But I snuck around and shook her, to go with General Hooker To fight mosquiters down in Tennessee Woody Guthrie wrote the second song see also Passing Thru SOF
Thanks to Mudcat for the Digital Tradition!