Here's Louie With the Sports (Lou and Peter Berryman) The Braves trounced the Cubbies 11 to 7, While Montreal stomped on St. Louis again. The Phillies were monsters and tore up the Pirates, While New York was annihilated by Houston in ten. The Red Sox kicked hinder and beat up on Baltimore, Knocking them senseless by 7 to one. Texas shot holes in the torso of Cleveland And left them for the undertaker in the afternoon sun. The Angels were coated with jam by the Tigers And stretched across anthills of African ants. The Yankees tied rats to the tongues of the Twins And poured wood ticks and tarantulas down the fronts of their pants. The Reds pulled the skin off the Giants on Tuesday And boiled their brains in a cauldron of lye. The Dodgers descended like napalm on puppies And left San Diego whimpering and begging to die. The Blue Jays put bombs in the cars of the Yankees And burned down their houses and tortured their wives. The Royals injected the Tigers with Drano And gave them appendectomies with serrated knives. Oakland sandpapered the gums of Seattle And dug out their eyes with a rusty old spoon. The Brewers put chains on the White Sox's children And dragged them through Chicagoland on Sunday at noon. copyright 1992 L&P Berryman. Words by Peter, music by Lou JTD
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