The Scottish Song (Adam McNaughtan) tune: Soldier's Joy (AAB) When the Scots had smashed the Norsemen, like steelies against jauries, The Generals, Macbeth and Banquo, walked it back to Forres, They met three dames that did a kinna fortune-tellin' thing, Wha hailt Macbeth an' tellt him he'd be Cawdor, Glamis an' King. Then Macbeth fell in a dwam but Banquo says, "haud on a wee, "Ye've a loat tae say to him, huv ye got onythin' for me?" The witches said, "The good news first an' then the bad we'll tell: "Ye'll faither loatsa kings but ye'll no' be wan yersel." When the King said, "Ye're the hauder o' the title 'Thane o'Cawdor'". Macbeth wis fair excitit an' ambitious tae get oan But his jaw near hut the flair when he heard the King declare, "Ma boay's the Prince o' Cumberland an' heir tae the throne." Macbeth, afore the rest, went rushin' hameward at full tilt, Tae let his wife know she wid need tae air the king-size quilt. She says, "Ye're mad tae say it or else Duncan's aff his heid. 'Cause if he sleeps here the nicht he's gonnae wauken up deid. Then Macbeth convinced himsel' that his motives were the best: That he widnae murder Duncan as his cousin, King an' guest. "Ye're a coward, ye're a beast an' ye don't love me!" says his wife, "An' we'll blame it oan the guairds." Says he, "Juist ca' me 'Mac the Knife!'" So he killt Duncan and his lady smeart the drunken Guairds wi' bluid an says, "C'moan tae bed. It's easy as snuff." But Malcolm shot the craw, so did Donalbain an' a' An' they didnae baffle Banquo an' they didnae fool Macduff. So Macbeth invitit Banquo to a feast as guest o' honour, Eftir hirin' three miscreants tae mak' sure he wis a goner. An' at the feast he simpert aboot Banquo no' bein' there But then he hud tae staun 'cause Banquo's ghost wis in his chair. But what made him loass his marbles wis when wan o' the miscreants Cam' an' said they'd malkied Banquo, but they'd missed the fleein' Fleance. "Avaunt!" he starts, but Lady Mac says, "Folks, the pairty's closed, "An' ye must excuse ma husband, he's a wee bit indisposed." Banquo's line upoan the throne juis' so obsessed his haill subconcious That he ordert them tae kill Macduff's wife, weans, cats, dugs, the loat. Lady Mac says, "Ah must try, if anythin' that Ah can buy. Persil, Ariel, Daz or Flash'll shift this bluidy spot. But Macduff wis aff tae England for tae fetch back Malkie, An' the boay says, "Ah'm nae use. Juist a randy greedy alkie." Cries Macduff, "Ma hopes end here!" Malkie says, "Ah'm only kiddin' "An' Ah'll tak' an army north an' cut doon trees tae keep it hidden." Macbeth meanwhile decidit the weird sisters he'd get haud ae An' he fund them bilin' soup wi' Tartars' lips tae gie it boady, An' they tellt him he could no' be killt by man that's born o' wumman, An' he didnae need tae fear till he saw Birnam wuid was comin. So Macbeth became quite gallus He couldnae show emotions like compassion, joy or sorra, When he heard his wife had died, he juist said, "Ah wid've cried, "If it had been the morra an' the morra an' the morra." Though a' his pals had skied it, he was safe in Dunsinane, An' he passt the time by pittin' armour oan an' aff again. Then the news that Birnam wuid wis oan the mairch gied him a scare. He says, "We'll fight ootside, Ah don't want bluid a' ower ma flair." He wis swashin', he was bucklin', he talked Siward's boay tae death, But his confidence wis shattert when Macduff shouts, "Hey, Macbeth!" "Against men o' weemen born," he says, "Ah've goat divine protection." Quips Macduff, "Ah wis delivert by Caesarian section." Then Macduff cut aff his heid an' when he saw that he wis deid, Malkie says, "Yese a' are earls, the first there's ever been." That's the story at an end but Ah still cannae comprehend Whit teachers find sae funny in yon porter scene. (alternative ending for non-teachers) Then Macduff cut aff his heid an' when he saw that he wis deid, Malkie says, "Yese a' are earls, come oan alang tae Scone." So noo the play is played an there's wan thing tae be said: It's juist half the length o' "Hamlet" when the curtain comes doon. steelies against jauries = steel balls against glass marbles kinna = kind of hailt = hailed tellt = told dwam = trance haud on a wee = hold on a moment loat = lot onythin = anything faither loatsa = father lots of no' be wan yersel = not be one yourself hauder = holder fair excitit =very excited ambitious tae get oan = ambitious to be promoted further near hut the flair = nearly hit the floor ma boay = my son afore = before at full tilt = at full speed air = freshen (i.e. to hang out on the clothes line) aff his heid = off his head (i.e crazy) the nicht = tonight gonnae wauken up deid = going to waken up dead guairds = guards Juist ca = just call killt = killed smeart =smeared bluid = blood shot the craw = shot the crow (i.e. ran away) an' a' = and all (i.e. also OR as well) invitit = invited Eftir hirin = after hiring simpert aboot = simpered about no' bein' there = not being there hud tae staun = had to stand loass his marbles = lost his marbles (i.e. went mad) wis when wan = was when one malkied = killed (OR did great bodily harm - after the fierce Glasgow street gang - "The Wee Malkies") indisposed = drunk (Glasgow euphemism) juis = just haill = whole ordert = ordered weans, cats, dugs, the loat = children, cats, dogs, the lot Persil, Ariel, Daz or Flash = (UK brands of detergents) wis aff tae = was off to for tae = to boay = boy nae use = useless alkie = alcoholic decidit = decided get haud ae = get hold of (i.e. get in touch with) fund = found bilin = boiling boady = body tellt = told no' be killt = not be killed wuid = wood gallus = confidant sorra = sorrow wid've = would have the morra = tomorrow a' his pals had skied it = all his friends had fled passt = passed pittin = putting oan an' aff again = on and off again oan the mairch = on the move ootside = outside bluid a' ower ma flair = blood all over my floor weemen = women goat = got delivert = delivered heid = head deid = dead Yese a = you all cannae = cannot whit = what yon = that come oan alang = come on along (with me) noo = now wan = one juist = just doon = down (AMMcD) Copyright Adam T. McNaughtan 1992. AMMcD oct97
Thanks to Mudcat for the Digital Tradition!