The Scottish Song
(Adam McNaughtan)
tune: Soldier's Joy (AAB)
When the Scots had smashed the Norsemen, like steelies against jauries,
The Generals, Macbeth and Banquo, walked it back to Forres,
They met three dames that did a kinna fortune-tellin' thing,
Wha hailt Macbeth an' tellt him he'd be Cawdor, Glamis an' King.
Then Macbeth fell in a dwam but Banquo says, "haud on a wee,
"Ye've a loat tae say to him, huv ye got onythin' for me?"
The witches said, "The good news first an' then the bad we'll tell:
"Ye'll faither loatsa kings but ye'll no' be wan yersel."
When the King said, "Ye're the hauder o' the title 'Thane o'Cawdor'".
Macbeth wis fair excitit an' ambitious tae get oan
But his jaw near hut the flair when he heard the King declare,
"Ma boay's the Prince o' Cumberland an' heir tae the throne."
Macbeth, afore the rest, went rushin' hameward at full tilt,
Tae let his wife know she wid need tae air the king-size quilt.
She says, "Ye're mad tae say it or else Duncan's aff his heid.
'Cause if he sleeps here the nicht he's gonnae wauken up deid.
Then Macbeth convinced himsel' that his motives were the best:
That he widnae murder Duncan as his cousin, King an' guest.
"Ye're a coward, ye're a beast an' ye don't love me!" says his wife,
"An' we'll blame it oan the guairds." Says he, "Juist ca' me 'Mac the Knife!'"
So he killt Duncan and his lady smeart the drunken
Guairds wi' bluid an says, "C'moan tae bed. It's easy as snuff."
But Malcolm shot the craw, so did Donalbain an' a'
An' they didnae baffle Banquo an' they didnae fool Macduff.
So Macbeth invitit Banquo to a feast as guest o' honour,
Eftir hirin' three miscreants tae mak' sure he wis a goner.
An' at the feast he simpert aboot Banquo no' bein' there
But then he hud tae staun 'cause Banquo's ghost wis in his chair.
But what made him loass his marbles wis when wan o' the miscreants
Cam' an' said they'd malkied Banquo, but they'd missed the fleein' Fleance.
"Avaunt!" he starts, but Lady Mac says, "Folks, the pairty's closed,
"An' ye must excuse ma husband, he's a wee bit indisposed."
Banquo's line upoan the throne juis' so obsessed his haill subconcious
That he ordert them tae kill Macduff's wife, weans, cats, dugs, the loat.
Lady Mac says, "Ah must try, if anythin' that Ah can buy.
Persil, Ariel, Daz or Flash'll shift this bluidy spot.
But Macduff wis aff tae England for tae fetch back Malkie,
An' the boay says, "Ah'm nae use. Juist a randy greedy alkie."
Cries Macduff, "Ma hopes end here!" Malkie says, "Ah'm only kiddin'
"An' Ah'll tak' an army north an' cut doon trees tae keep it hidden."
Macbeth meanwhile decidit the weird sisters he'd get haud ae
An' he fund them bilin' soup wi' Tartars' lips tae gie it boady,
An' they tellt him he could no' be killt by man that's born o' wumman,
An' he didnae need tae fear till he saw Birnam wuid was comin.
So Macbeth became quite gallus
He couldnae show emotions like compassion, joy or sorra,
When he heard his wife had died, he juist said, "Ah wid've cried,
"If it had been the morra an' the morra an' the morra."
Though a' his pals had skied it, he was safe in Dunsinane,
An' he passt the time by pittin' armour oan an' aff again.
Then the news that Birnam wuid wis oan the mairch gied him a scare.
He says, "We'll fight ootside, Ah don't want bluid a' ower ma flair."
He wis swashin', he was bucklin', he talked Siward's boay tae death,
But his confidence wis shattert when Macduff shouts, "Hey, Macbeth!"
"Against men o' weemen born," he says, "Ah've goat divine protection."
Quips Macduff, "Ah wis delivert by Caesarian section."
Then Macduff cut aff his heid an' when he saw that he wis deid,
Malkie says, "Yese a' are earls, the first there's ever been."
That's the story at an end but Ah still cannae comprehend
Whit teachers find sae funny in yon porter scene.
(alternative ending for non-teachers)
Then Macduff cut aff his heid an' when he saw that he wis deid,
Malkie says, "Yese a' are earls, come oan alang tae Scone."
So noo the play is played an there's wan thing tae be said:
It's juist half the length o' "Hamlet" when the curtain comes doon.
steelies against jauries = steel balls against glass marbles
kinna = kind of
hailt = hailed
tellt = told
dwam = trance
haud on a wee = hold on a moment
loat = lot
onythin = anything
faither loatsa = father lots of
no' be wan yersel = not be one yourself
hauder = holder
fair excitit =very excited
ambitious tae get oan = ambitious to be promoted further
near hut the flair = nearly hit the floor
ma boay = my son
afore = before
at full tilt = at full speed
air = freshen (i.e. to hang out on the clothes line)
aff his heid = off his head (i.e crazy)
the nicht = tonight
gonnae wauken up deid = going to waken up dead
guairds = guards
Juist ca = just call
killt = killed
smeart =smeared
bluid = blood
shot the craw = shot the crow (i.e. ran away)
an' a' = and all (i.e. also OR as well)
invitit = invited
Eftir hirin = after hiring
simpert aboot = simpered about
no' bein' there = not being there
hud tae staun = had to stand
loass his marbles = lost his marbles (i.e. went mad)
wis when wan = was when one
malkied = killed (OR did great bodily harm - after the fierce Glasgow
street gang - "The Wee Malkies")
indisposed = drunk (Glasgow euphemism)
juis = just
haill = whole
ordert = ordered
weans, cats, dugs, the loat = children, cats, dogs, the lot
Persil, Ariel, Daz or Flash = (UK brands of detergents)
wis aff tae = was off to
for tae = to
boay = boy
nae use = useless
alkie = alcoholic
decidit = decided
get haud ae = get hold of (i.e. get in touch with)
fund = found
bilin = boiling
boady = body
tellt = told
no' be killt = not be killed
wuid = wood
gallus = confidant
sorra = sorrow
wid've = would have
the morra = tomorrow
a' his pals had skied it = all his friends had fled
passt = passed
pittin = putting
oan an' aff again = on and off again
oan the mairch = on the move
ootside = outside
bluid a' ower ma flair = blood all over my floor
weemen = women
goat = got
delivert = delivered
heid = head
deid = dead
Yese a = you all
cannae = cannot
whit = what yon = that
come oan alang = come on along (with me)
noo = now
wan = one
juist = just
doon = down (AMMcD)
Copyright Adam T. McNaughtan 1992.
AMMcD
oct97
Thanks to Mudcat for the Digital Tradition!