The Ladies (Rudyard Kipling) I've taken my fun where I've found it; I've rogued an' I've ranged in my time, I've 'ad my pickin' o' sweethwarts, An' four o' the lot was prime, One was an 'arf-caste widow One was a woman at Prome One was the wife of a jemadar-sais  An' one is a girl at home. Now I aren't no 'and with the ladies For, takin' them all along You never can say till you've tried 'em And then you are like to be wrong; There's times that you think that you mightn't There's times that you know that you might, But the things you will learn from the Yellow and Brown They'll 'elp you a lot with the white! I was a young un at 'Oogli, Shy as a girl to begin; Aggie de Castrer she made me, An' Aggie was clever as sin; Older than me, but my first un, More like a mother she were-- Showed me the way to promotion an' pay, An' I learned about women from 'er! Then I was ordered to Burma, Actin' in charge o' Bazar, An' I got me a tiddy live 'eathen Through buyin' supplies off 'er pa. Funny an' yellow an' faithful- Doll in a teacup she were- But we lived on the square, like a true-married pair, An' I learned about women from 'er! Then we was shifted to Neemuch (Or I might ha' been keepin' 'er now), An' I took with a shiny she-devil, The wife of a nigger at Mhow; 'Taught me the gipsy-folks' bolee,  Kind o' volcano she were, For she knifed me one night 'cause I wished she was white, And I learned about women from 'er! Then I come 'ome in a trooper, 'Long of a kid o' sixteen- 'Girl from a convent at Meerut The straightest I ever 'ave seen. Love at first sight was 'er trouble, S@e didn't know what it were; An' I wouldn't do such, 'cause I liked 'er too much, But I learned about women from 'er! I've taken my fun where I've found it, An' now I must pay for my fun, For the more you 'ave known o' the others The less will you settle to one; An' the end of it's sittin' and thinkin', An' dreamin' Hell-fires to see; So be warned by my lot (which I know you will not), And learn about women from me! What did the Colonel's Lady think? Nobody ever knew. Somebody asked the Sergeant's Wife An' she told 'em true; When you get to a man in the case They're as like as a row of pins For the Colonel's Lady an' Judy O'Grady Are sisters under their skins!  Head-groom.  Slang RG
Thanks to Mudcat for the Digital Tradition!