The Transit Van Seemed so sincere when she says to me There'd be no unemployment if You'd all use a bit of initiative I was on the dole I was broke and bored Says I I'll take her at her word Got a lone from the credit union man And I bought myself a Transit Van The next step up the ladder now I bought myself an old fat sow I crossed over the border quite legally And collected the common market subsidy Signed all the forms handed back the pen Then smuggled me pig back home again Ten times a day we'd work this plan Myself the sow and the Transit Van Of travel sickness the old sow died So I thought it was time I diversified I took all the money from the biscuit tin Filled the van to the roof with whiskey and gin Around the South my wares I'd sell In public houses and hotels There was never a guard nor a customs man Got his nose inside that Transit Van At festivals and Fleadhs and fairs If the craic was good you would find me there At all big matches in Croke Park And I've danced with Springsteen in the Dark I fought with tinkers in Ballinasloe I've danced in the streets around Listowel Mothers had their daughters warned Stay well away from that Transit Van But it being Lent and the drink trade slow I took to carrying videos While on the road to Ballybay Found a customs roadblock in me way To face the border I got her turned The engine roared and the tyres burned There were five patrol cars fully manned In hot pursuit of the Transit Van Through Clontbruit I did run As quick as Peter Robinson Going round the corner I hit a dog Went over the hedge into Galla bog Well I sat on the bank and watched all I owned Sinking in the bog hole like a stone She was lying on her roof and the wheels still turning And the stereo was playing ""Farewell to Erin"" So now I'm back where I first began No job no money but I have a plan There's a wee girl down in Tullysarn She could hold my future in her hand Now she doesn't look like a film star But she's been telling me about her Da! He owns no property or land But he has two sows and a Transit Van The Queen of England drives a Rolls Royce car Her son Charlie drives a Jag-u-ar But when the Pope came to I-re-land He drove around in a Transit Van. MS OCT98
Thanks to Mudcat for the Digital Tradition!