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Turkey in the Straw 2 (more, and probably later, verses) Oh there was an geezer and he had a wooden leg  And he never had tobacco, so he always had to beg. There's another old soldier, as sly as any fox And he always had tobacco in his old tobacco box. Says the first old geezer, "Will you let me have a chew?" Says the second old geezer, "I'll be damned if I do! If you'd save your money and keep it in your socks You'd always have tobacco in your old tobacco box." Oh I went to Cincinatti and I walked around the block And I walked right into a doughnut shop And I picked up a doughnut and I wiped off the grease And I handed the lady a five-cent piece. She looked at the nickel and she looked at me And she said, " This nickle's no use to me  There's a hole in the middle and it goes right through." Says I, "There's a hole in your doughnut, too." Oh I had a little chicken and she had a wooden leg The best damn chicken that ever laid an egg She laid more eggs than any hen around the farm And another wooden leg wouldn't do her any harm. One day the little chicken just wouldn't lay an egg So I poured hot water down the little chicken's leg The little chicken hollered and the little chicken begged And the damned old chicken laid a hard-boiled egg.  or "soldier" instead of "geezer"  or "Kind sir, you can plainly see"  or "another little drink wouldn't do us any harm" RG
Thanks to Mudcat for the Digital Tradition!