Digital Tradition Mirror

The Women's Complaint to Venus

The Women's Complaint to Venus
[1698. Bodleian MS Rawl. poet 159, also MS Eng. poet e. 50

How happy were good English Faces
  Till monseiur from France
  Taught Pego a dance
To the tune of old Sodoms Embraces

But now we are quite out of fashion
  Your whores may be Nuns
  Since men turn their Guns
And vent on each other their passions

In the Reign of good Charles the Second
  Full many a Jade
  a Lady was made
And the Issue Right Noble was reckon'd

But now we find to our sorrow
  We are overrun
  By sparks of the Bum
And peers of the Land of Gommorah

The Beaus whom most we rely'd on
  At Night makes a punk
  of him that's first drunk
Tho' unfit for the Sport as John Dryden

The Souldiers, whom next we put trust in
  No widdow can faine
  Or virgin Reclaim
But at the wrong place will be a thrusting

Fair Venus, thou Goddess of Beauty
  Receive our complaint
  Make Rigby recant
And the Souldiers henceforth do their duty

Venus' Reply

Why Nymphs these pittiful storeys
  But you are to blame
  And have got a new game
Call'd Flatts with a swiving Clitoris

Besides I have heard of Wax Tapers
  With which you get up
  And each other Tup
To cure the Green sickness and vapours

I'm told with a delicate Seignior
  Some Matrons do ease
  Their Lust and so please
They have not been layn with these years

Your Frogmore Frolicks discover  [Irish lord's residence
  Some Reasons of Art
  to play the Mans part
You are for no masculine Lover

At all which I am so offend'd
  My son at Mens hearts
  Will throw no more darts
'Till your lust and your lives are amended

Forsake but those odd ways of Sinning
  And I'le undertake
  The arrantest Rake
Shall swinge you as at the beginning

Some Songs from Bassus, 1530


Thanks to Mudcat for the Digital Tradition!

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