The Bantam Cock He was a fine upstanding bantam-cock So brisk, and stiff, and spry... With a springy step, and a jaunty plume, And a purposeful look in his eye In his little black laughing eye! So I took him to the coop and introduced him to My seventeen wide-eyed hens And he tupped and he tupped as a hero tupps, And he bowed to them all, and then, He up and took 'em all again! Then upon the peace of my ducks and geese He boldly did intrude And with glazed eyes and opened mouths They bore him with fortitude... And a little bit of gratitude! He jumped my giggling guinea-fowl! He thrust his attentions upon Twenty hysterical turkeys, And a visiting migrant swan! And the bantam thundered on! He groped my fan-tail pigeon doves, My lily-white Columbine, And as I was lookin' at me budgerigar, He jumped my parrot from behind! And it was sittin' on me shoulder at the time! But all of a sudden, with a gasp and a gulp, He clapped his wings to his head! He lay flat on his back with his feet in the air; My bantam-cock was dead! And the vultures circled overhead! What a noble beast! What a champion cock! What a way to live and die! As I dug him a grave to protect his bones, From those hungry buzzards in the sky, The bantam opened up his eyes! He gave me a wink, and a terrible grin, The way that rapists do.... He said, "Do you see them silly daft buggers up there? They'll be down in a minnit 'er two! They'll be down in a minnit 'er two!" JB APR99
Thanks to Mudcat for the Digital Tradition!