Digital Tradition Mirror

The Dog in the Closet

(This score available as ABC, SongWright, PostScript, PNG, or PMW, or a MIDI file)
Pennywhistle notation and Dulcimer tab for this song is also available

The Dog in the Closet

There was an old farmer near London did dwell,
He had a handsome wife and she loved the hatter well,
The old farmer got jealous not without a cause
It was the young hatter that gave him the cause
     So it was.

The old farmer went out for to drink with his friends
When straightway for the young hatter she sends
The hours of pleasure soon being past
The old farmer came home found his doors all fast
     So he did

Now see what the wit of a woman can do,
She says in the closet I will hide you,
Here in the closet you keep still
And you'll be as safe as a mouse in the mill
     So you will

She put him in the closet and gave him a kiss
Which made the old farmer think something was amiss
An around to the closet he straightway did make
But no notice of the hatter the farmer did take
     No he didn't.

But he locked up the door and secured the key
He swore the young hatter starved should be,
He swore the young hatter should starve in his den
Till he had collected five or six men
     So he should,

Now the young hatter was in a tight place
He strove to get out but it was all in vain
It would make a dog laugh to hear him complain
And beg of his mistress his freedom to gain
     So it would

Now the young hatter he made such a fouse
She tried every key she could find in the house
At length she found one that would open the door
And give the young hatter his freedom once more
     So she did

She says to the hatter before you go home
I'll tell you of a project I have thought on
When my husband comes home I shall expect some disgrace
Therefore I will put our old dog in your place
     So I will

The old farmer came home in the middle of the night
He says now my friends I will show you a sight
Here is my wife's gallant I swear by the key
He has been a-starving all this long day
     So he has.

He opened the door and the dog he ran out
Which caused them all for to laugh and to shout,
Jesting and joking all went on
They swore he didn't know a dog from a man
     No he didn't

O my dearest wife will you pardon me now
And I will always love you I swear and I vow
And if any one disturbs you I'll cause them to quake
For its on my dearest wife how a man may mistake
     So he may

From The New Green Mountain Songster, Harkness et al
Collected from Mrs. Altie Dean Sanders, Mount Holly VT
Tune not supplied; sings well to Villikens and his Dinah,
with the last line of each verse spoken RG

DT #523
Laws Q11
RG
oct96

Thanks to Mudcat for the Digital Tradition!