Digital Tradition Mirror

Ghost Advisors

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Ghost Advisors
(Charlie Eberhardt)

Some Yanks went out advising,
Down there in South Vietnam,
But the people they advised
Didn't give a good Goddamn!
The president and his family,
Were sweating out a coup,
And they blamed the whole "schammozzle"
On the likes of me and you!

cho: Yippee aye yea!  Yippee aye aye
     Ghost advisors by and by!

Some Buddhists did a "slow burn,"
Up in Hue and in Saigon,
And you couldn't "watch the birdies,"
Without dodging plastic bombs.
The students, they got angry--
The government closed the schools,
And the Times of Vietnam,
Called the U.S. a bunch of fools!

These advisors were notorious,
For countering insurgency.
They collected "Lessons Learned,"
For the Chief of "Co Van My."
They gathered tons of data,
From the field in Vietnam.
(But down in Venezuela,
It won't be worth a damn!)

They worked for COMUSMACV,
And for the Chief of MAG,
Who told Bob McNamara,
That the war was "in the bag,"
That the Viet Cong were beaten
In this brave "Diem-ocracy."
(They didn't tell the insurgents:
The omnipotent VCs!)

Yes, in the steaming jungles,
And the plains of mud and rice,
Infested with mosquitoes,
Viet Cong and body lice,
There went the good advisors,
And some "Greenie Beanies" too,
To save the little country,
For the likes of Madame Nhu!

They advised the Civil Guard,
And the valiant SDC,
They advised the Vietnamese,
In the land and air and sea,
And when the fights were over,
When the body count was in,
Our side lost a hundred,
And the VC only ten!
They built strategic hamlets
And they dispensed USOM aid,
They convinced the Montagnards
That they really had it made!
They defoliated jungles,
And herbicided rice,
As long as Mr. Ambassador,
Could afford the going price!

They headed for the airfield,
Out at good old Tan Son Nhut;
With boarding passes in their hands
And CIBS to boot!
"Little soldiers of misfortune,"
And, "Tools of CIA,"'
They waited for jet planes,
To touch that broad runway!

Now buddy, listen to them,
And hear what they will say,
They're gonna board that aircraft,
So don't get in their way.
They'll zap you with their cross-bows
And their home-made rifles too,
Cause no seats exist on that craft,
For the likes of me and you.

tune: Ghost Riders
From The Longest Year, Bowen and Fish
RG

Thanks to Mudcat for the Digital Tradition!